Music Paul Colbert & Andy Honeybone (piano intro.), Lyrics: Paul Colbert, Vocal: Paul, Harmonies: Ando
Andy: Electric bass and bass pedals, electric 6-string, Saxophone, Clavinet
Paul: Acoustic 6-string, electric 6 and 12-string, Vocals
John: Fender rhodes, clavinet, Viscount C120 organ, piando, synth
Copyright: Paul Colbert, Andy Honeybone, All rights reserved.
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Snatcher: "Unlucky for some who close their eyes,
As long as it takes to spring my surprise
My conscience is clear as I claim my prize."
Watch the villain in flight,
Keep the pervert in sight!
"The Snatcher has struck" the sergeant explains,
"He's done it before, and he'll do it again.
It's up to us to catch him now."
Snatcher: "Some men kiss girls others batter them,
That ain't for me, I've a stratagem works just fine,
I steal their glasses - ain't it a crime.
Looks don't count and figures don't matter,
Thinner or fatter,
Whip off their specs before it sinks in,
Pebbled or early, plain or hornrimmed.
"They take a dim view of my daring street steals and ponder,
Was it school, or the calcium in my meals that make me wander.
No electrodes under my ears will tell you what it is I fear."
"Whitehorse Lane or London Road,
You might see me on patrol
And causing mayhem.
Moment's right and I deglaze them!
No-one knows that I'm the thief,
The Spectacle Snatcher of Thornton Heath
Can make the papers, front page news,
The latest capers!"
"Tall, dark, fair, and short in height
Disguises vary night by night.
But no-one pins the blame on me -
Without their glasses they can't see.
Descriptions match in every case:
He had a very blurry face."
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Dreaming in the fireside light of secret Celia,
Rest there while the embers fill your eyes.
A veil of tears obscures her face within the mirror
Clearing as the glass reveals her life.
Snatcher: "Fly with me my fantasy,
Early light will set you free."
In his mind reflected scenes of all her lovers
Mirage turquoise of her dress enclosed.
Snatcher: "Sleep in me my fantasy,
Your magic's all I'll ever be."
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At the bar the sarge expounds his latest theory:
"It seems we're dealing a very dangerous man.
I shall not rest until this thief is brought to justice.
The weak of sight shall safely walk this land!"
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Snatcher: "How it feels to be unreal."
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Underneath the town hall clock the sergeant stops his master plan
And then regrets it,
Policemen covered every exit.
Thirteen days they sat and waited, contemplated why the thief
Was not so reckless,
All that time and no-one specless.
The answer shone above their heads,
A heatwave stifled London's breath.
With everybody sporting shades
The Snatcher couldn't stand the pace.
And as our hero felt the strain
His dying words were
"I've been framed"!
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